Fabric Stores and Androcentrism

A message from an artist and someone who works at a fabric store: Stop gendering your babies with colour!

Every day I have parents and grandparents-to-be come in and have fabric cut to make quilts, blankets, baby clothes, diapers, curtains, etc for their soon to be newborn. And yet, I'm always asked the same questions over and over:

"What do you have that's for girls?"
"Where is the boys section?"
"We won't know the gender, so we need to keep it neutral until it's born"

And worst of all: "Does this fabric look too girly to you?"

I usually give some sort of half-hearted, "Well, it's your choice, I'm sure they'll love it!" response, but my secret answer is: QUIT IT. No, that fabric is not "too girly". Why would an infant boy care if his pillow has pink flowers on it? Why would a girl care if it has footballs or zoo animals on it? Why are pink and blue so wholeheartedly reserved for girls and for boys that the thought of giving that colour to the other gender is laughable, or worse, insulting?

Why is it that girls are allowed to like "boys stuff" so long as it has been girlified to have pink and ribbons on it (pink soccerball print www.davinadawnsewing.com/smsoc… , pink John Deere print images01.olx.com/ui/1/65/81/13… ) but boys are not allowed to go within ten feet of anything that might be associated with girls?

Androcentrism is the problem, and even women who call themselves feminists can fall into its trap. It's a form of sexism that we dont often think of, but it can deeply affect our lives in subtle ways.

It's an idea of two parts:

1) That there are things "for males" and "for females" whether that be jobs, clothing, hairstyles, etc.
2) That the things that are male are inherently better than those that are female. Those who choose the things that are "female" (such as the colour pink) are weaker and lesser than those that do not.

So, it is ok for a girl to want to be a football player, or a car mechanic, or be a tomboy, but at the same time, it is not ok for a boy to want to be a ballerina or a stay-at-home dad, or like the colour pink; lest he be thought to be gay. Or "soft". Or somehow less-than.

I see this again when the kids who buy fabric for their school projects come into the store. The girls often pick an array of colours and prints for their gym bag and boxer shorts. Animal print, rainbows, solids, glitter, you name it. They also spend less time picking out their fabric. They don't have to worry about being "too girly" or picking a colour scheme that might show them as having a weak character. I've seen middle school-aged boys agonize over whether Canadian Flag print flannel is "too girly" and might get them made fun of. Most of them spend an hour walking around the entire store and eventually end up choosing either our one camoflage print or... black. I see the same thought process happen with every single boy, one after the other, day after day.

We're programming these choices and these thought processes into our kids from birth. From the very moment they are born and a blue baloon and a blue teddy bear are handed to the boy, while a pink bear goes to the girls. We are teaching our children these artificial definitions of what it means to be male and female from the get-go, and from the bottom of my heart, I say:

CUT IT OUT!
RIGHT NOW!

Let your kids figure out which colours they like or don't like. Most of them just like all the colours until they develop a sense of taste. By all means, let girls explore more traditionally masculine things without having to girl them up with pink or softness, but please, please let boys explore their feminine side. It won't damage them. It won't "make them gay." Let them wear pink and play with make-up like mommy and don't shame them for something they won't even understand before they hit puberty much less the age of five. If it turns out they like dancing or cooking or sewing, good for them. Because those are respectable talents and hobbies and they shouldn't be discouraged in any child.

It's not just about empowering women, but also making the world a safer and more comfortable place for people who don't strictly want to be 100% straight masculine male or 100% straight feminine female. People who are gay or trans suffer from androcentrism's harsh boundaries. They are caught between two rigid worlds and don't seem to truly fit into either. When we stop viewing the things that men do as things to aspire to, and the things women do as things to move away from, we can erode the false barriers of sexism. We need to see all things: Sex, gender, and the things traditionally associated with the masculine and feminine as equal, in ALL respects. Then, we can be an equal society.


EDIT: I suppose I should give an example of what I have been talking about. I found an online store (It's not my store, and it has a larger selection, but the types of fabric are pretty much the same)

Here is the boys section: www.fatquartershop.com/store/s… (Warning, I have it set to VIEW ALL, so it will take a while to load)

Here is the girls section: www.fatquartershop.com/store/s…

Upon a quick browse down each, in the boys section we see:

Sock monkey (both)
A lot of blue and navy, green.
Aliens
Robots
Naval
Wild animals
bikes
dinosaurs
dinosaur words
numbers (both)
crayons (both)
Batman
backyard exploration (bugs, grass, snails, snakes)
"Boys at work" construction
space rockets
paper planes
trains
Dr Seuss
farm animals
fish and frogs (both, however, G/B colours are different. Boys are green and brown, girls are pink)

And that're barely halfway down the page. Now, We'll look at girls

Sock monkey (both)
Little red riding hood
pink and bows
mushrooms
flowers
alice in wonderland
Letters (both
Numbers (both)
Crayons (both)
Lots of prints, such as baroque swirls, floral or houndstooth. This isn't really a "section" but is all over
butterflies
clothing
vintage little girls
hopscotch
balloons
bikes (both)
dr seuss (both)
purses and shoes
Fairy Princess (fairies, unicorns, pink castle, etc)
fish and frogs (Both, however, G/B colours are different. Boys are green and brown, girls are pink)
Wild animals, but unrealistic colours. Pink squirrels, pink birds, etc.
Goodnight Spot
Hello Kitty


What sort of patterns do you notice when looking through? ANything that jumps out? Colour patterns, print choices, etc?
Aside from the overabundant amount of pink for girls and lack of pink for boys, I seem to see way more active and realistic portrayals on the boys prints. Construction worker is a real career. Fairy Princess is not. Dinosaurs are real animals. Unicorns are not. Trains and rocket ships are real and complex scientific vehicles. Girls either get fantasy vehcles like a princess carriage or unicorn or nothing that compares to a train.

Now, sure, I believe that girls should be exposed to more science and career stuff. They should be free to dream about growing up to be doctors or lawyers or construction workers. So where does that leave the unicorns and fairy castles? Why are those dreamy things exclusive to girls? Or a love of fashion? Why isn't there a baby print covered in well-tailored mens suits? (Though I'd really like to just get rid of the lipstick + purse print altogether. It just rings of materialism)

Another question to you out there: When looking at these, ask yourself

Why is this print in the boys / girls section?
Why is it not in the other section, or both?
Why is this print in both sections and what makes it "safe" for both genders as opposed to only being appropriate for one?